The Beginning

When I became pregnant with our first born, it was a really happy time for us.  I charted ovulation cycles, started looking at baby stuff, and we were so excited to become parents.  Luckily for us, we got pregnant easily and quickly, within the first two months of trying. During one of my first prenatal appointments, the waiting room had a baby magazine. I read through it to pass time. The appointment was the run of the mill appointment- bloodwork, going through the ins and outs of what to expect, and getting our due date. When I got home, I wanted to look up that magazine and subscribe to it, because it was the first tangible piece of motherhood for me, it made it feel real - flipping through the pages and reading stories. I could barely contain my excitement (or nausea at that point...).

This magazine had a website and a discussion board. I joined the board and watched silently for awhile. Then I started asking questions and seeking guidance from other moms, and eventually giving my own input on other posts. We shared concerns, questions, joy, loss and everything in-between. I formed some great friendships with these moms. There were seasoned moms, new moms, hopeful moms. We branched off into a private chat group on a different forum. Another mom and I made our own message board group, and it grew rapidly to hundreds of other moms. Most were from the original group. It was a huge part of my early motherhood. I am still friends with some of these moms online. 

With broadening my online presence and mom friends, came things that I had never heard of. One of those was not vaccinating your children because vaccines caused Autism or other major issues such as seizures, developmental delays, or even death. These posts started catching my attention after my delivery,  but I still didn't think much of them at first. 

We had been getting our baby vaccinated on schedule, but when it came time to get the Rotavirus vaccine, I hesitated. I started looking for information because I heard this particular vaccine had caused intussusception, and was stopped being given just a few years prior. At one of our visits, it had just recently been re-introduced into the vaccine schedule, and was recommended by our Pediatrician. I voiced my concerns, and the doctor didn't really push back, but explained that rotavirus could be deadly for babies, and left it at that. I do remember that our baby received other vaccines at that appointment. I wasn't super concerned with my baby getting sick. I was a stay at home mom, we didn't use daycare, and, for the most part we were pretty healthy. I didn't even think about gross grocery carts that my child loved to chew on, visiting family, seeing friends or their children, the occasional babysitter if we wanted to go out. I was gleefully unaware of the potential germs my child would come into contact with on a daily basis. Thankfully, the decision to not vaccinate against rotavirus would not impact our child. We were lucky. 

Being given the freedom to pick and choose the vaccines I wanted to give my child made me feel like maybe others were right. Maybe there was something to people questioning these vaccines. This made me spiral into doing more "research" and branching out to other online groups that were more specifically targeted towards vaccines, not just regular mom groups. I remember bringing up the topic to my husband, and he said he trusted the doctors and it was safer for them to be vaccinated. We continued to vaccinate our oldest, as I didn't want to argue, but I didn't let it go.  I continued to spend hours on the internet each week,  looking into claims of vaccine injuries, toxic chemicals, and how it should be considered child abuse if you vaccinated your children. I remember reading "if you were to feed your child aluminum or formaldehyde, you would go to jail! Why is it ok to inject these things into their little bodies".  After that, every well baby check up was agony for me. If you're a parent, you know how frequent those are in the first year or two of life. I had our first two babies 22 months apart, and I felt like we were constantly at the doctors for well visits. 

During a 1 year check up, your child will be scheduled to receive the MMR (Measles, Mumps and Rubella), plus Varicella (Chicken Pox) and a few others. At this point in my "research", I had found Dr. Wakefield's bogus study about MMR and Autism. I was t-e-r-r-f-i-e-d!  I declined that vaccine. The doctor did talk me into getting him the Varicella vaccine, stating that he could get shingles as an adult if he got chicken pox, or that a chicken pox infection could lead to infertility. 

The anti-vaccine people will scare you by repeating the information in the Wakefield study. The claim that the government is hiding this information and that Wakefield was right in his findings. They will also go on to say that a Measles infection is harmless. A childhood right of passage - everyone got it and all were fine. But that isn't the case. In 2018, 140,000 people lost their lives because of measles. And 2019, 207,000 people died from Measles. Most of those deaths were in children under the age of five. These babies died due to a vaccine preventible illness - heartbreaking. I get it, these deaths weren't in the US. But people's children died. Do you know why people aren't dying from Measles in the United States and why in 2000 it was considered eliminated in the US - Vaccines! There are counties still developing.  If large numbers of people stop vaccinating for Measles in the US, it can very easily come back. I don't know about you, but I'm sick of the COVID pandemic, we don't need another one that is preventible. 

Even if you don't die from measles complications, it can still have a lasting impact on your health: 

Long-term complications of Measles

Subacute sclerosing panencephalitis (SSPE) is a very rare, but fatal disease of the central nervous system that results from a measles virus infection acquired earlier in life.

• SSPE generally develops 7 to 10 years after a person has measles, even though the person seems to have fully recovered from the illness.
• Since measles was eliminated in 2000, SSPE is rarely reported in the United States.
• Among people who contracted measles during the resurgence in the United States in 1989 to 1991, 7 to 11 out of every 100,000 were estimated to be at risk for developing SSPE.
• The risk of developing SSPE may be higher for a person who gets measles before they are 2 years of age.
• To learn more, visit the Subacute sclerosing panencephalitis (SSPE) MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopediaexternal icon
  
  
  
  Since having my eyes opened in the past year, I came to realize that this study had been debunked, the study was retracted from the Lancet, and he lost his license for lying. I wish I had known this information back in 2006 when it was time for my baby's MMR vaccine.

Complications from Mumps can be severe and cause meningitis, brain inflammation and death. Other less life-threatening complications can include permanent deafness. Mumps has not been eliminated in the United States. 

Rubella is bad news for expectant mothers. A Rubella infection, especially in the first trimester, can cause a miscarriage, blindness, deafness, brain damage and a host of other complications to her baby. It might be mild illness for children or adults, but to a developing fetus, it can be detrimental. Rubella has been considered to be eliminated in the US in 2004. Again, if we stop vaccinating for it, it can return. Other counties still deal with this disease on a large scale.

Since having my eyes opened in the past year, I came to accept that the Wakefield study had been debunked, the study was retracted from the Lancet, and he lost his license for lying. I am fully aware that people can have complications from a vaccine. I don't deny that, and that is really sad.  However,  it is exceedingly rare to have any sort of life altering, permanent disabling reaction. I do believe that it should be a personal choice whether or not to vaccinate. But the misinformation and fear mongering against vaccines has to stop, and you really must look into both sides. The diseases have far more risks associated with contracting them.  If you decide to space out or delay vaccines, you really need to have a in-depth conversation with your trusted, board certified legitimate Doctor. 

*I am not a medical professional. Just a mom who has changed views on childhood vaccines, and I want to share our family's story. Please seek the medical advice from your trusted medical doctor.